All day, I knew I was standing at the edge of a big life change. But it didn’t feel real. Honestly, it still doesn’t.
At least, not until the toilet broke and the only person who could fix it… was me.
Welcome to homeownership.
And here’s the wild thing: it’s beautiful.
Because this house isn’t just walls and windows—it’s a reminder of how easy it is to confuse what we want with what we need, and how much peace we discover when we finally honor our deepest needs.
When I started the process, I told my lender—who is also a dear friend—exactly what I needed:
- A reduced monthly house payment
- No down payment
- No extra closing costs
Money was tight. Single motherhood, full-time work, chasing dreams… every penny mattered.
But then, I got distracted by the shiny “dream homes.” The ones that looked perfect on the outside, but would have left me financially drowning. I started bidding on houses that would have sunk me, forgetting everything I said I needed.
And every time I lost a bid, I sank deeper into discouragement—until I finally asked myself, How did I get so far off track?
When I stopped chasing “wants” and realigned with “needs,” this house came back to me. It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t what I pictured. It was going to take a little bit of love. But in a twist of grace and serendipity, it gave me everything I had asked for—and even refunded some of my costs along the way.
And as I signed the last paper, I breathed deeply and realized:
I got everything I needed, and in that, I discovered what I truly wanted. Home.
This isn’t just a story about a house. It’s a story about relationships.
Because just like house-hunting, we often confuse our wants with our needs in love. We chase shiny exteriors, grand gestures, or the idealized “dream” version of connection. And sometimes, we ignore the quiet but essential truths of what we actually need to feel safe, whole, and deeply loved.
Here’s what I’ve learned we all truly need in relationships:
- To be seen — for who we really are, our soul, our character, even the hidden parts.
- To be heard — not just listened to, but understood, acknowledged.
- To have conversation — not just being talked at, but talked with, engaged with.
- To be honored — not only in the public conversations, but in private ones as well.
- To feel safe — in someone’s presence, in their heart, and in their love.
These are not luxuries. They are needs!
And when we honor our needs, rather than chasing wants, we make space for love that is real, sustaining, and healing. We stop settling for relationships that drain us, and instead, we build relationships that hold us.
Because the truth is: there’s no merit badge for staying too long in places that break us. But there is freedom—and joy—in finding a love that feels like home.
This lesson is just a representation of what I explore in my upcoming book, Burned, Blocked, and Better Than Ever. It’s about heartbreak, resilience, and rediscovering what it means to be loved in a way that honors your needs. Because when you stop chasing what you want and start honoring what you need—that’s when you find home.
✨ Pre-orders are now live—(click here) and I’d love for you to be part of this journey.
With all my love!
Xoxo J
Journey Coaching 
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