“What dreams do you have?”

It seemed like such a simple question.

But when someone asked me recently, I found myself completely caught off guard.

Because as I started mentally scrolling through the dreams I had carried for years, I had a realization that stopped me in my tracks.

Holy shit.

I’m standing on the edge of achieving almost every dream I’ve ever wanted.

And for a moment, I didn’t know what to do with that.

Because when you’ve spent years fighting, surviving, rebuilding, healing, and working toward something, you don’t always stop to look around and recognize how far you’ve come.

You’re so focused on the next step that you forget to celebrate the miles behind you.

But lately, I’ve been looking around.

And honestly?

It’s a little surreal.

To Be an Author

I remember sitting down with an author back in 2016.

I was excited. Hopeful.

I had this dream tucked away inside of me that maybe one day I would write a book.

Maybe one day my story would matter enough to share.

Maybe one day someone would read my words and feel less alone.

As gently as she could, she essentially told me it wasn’t likely to happen.

I didn’t have the platform. I didn’t have the following. I didn’t have the network.

And maybe I didn’t even have the right story.

So I did what a lot of people do when someone they respect tells them their dream isn’t realistic.

I put it away. Quite literally. I put it on the shelf. Not because I stopped wanting it.

But because I stopped believing it was possible.

And now?

I’m a published author.

Not only that, people are actually buying the book.

Reading it.

Sharing it.

Connecting with it.

Every time someone sends me a message about how the book impacted them, I still have a moment where I think: “This is insane.”

The dream I packed away almost a decade ago is sitting on bookshelves.

Crazy balls!

To Be a Speaker

This one makes me laugh.

Because if you had seen my first experience with a microphone, you would never have predicted where I’d end up.

I completely bombed.

Not a little.

Not recoverable. I mean spectacularly.

It was during a school assembly program that I had attended hundreds of times.

I knew exactly what was supposed to happen.

And then suddenly I was standing there and my brain simply stopped functioning.

Gone. Nothing. Total shutdown.

I was so embarrassed that I carried that failure with me for years.

I could sing. I could give church announcements. I could share a testimony. But actually speaking? Standing in front of people and intentionally sharing my thoughts?

Absolutely not.

Every time I thought about it, I saw that moment.

That failure.

That embarrassment.

And because of that, I spent years believing I wasn’t a speaker.

The funny thing about fear is that it doesn’t always disappear.

Sometimes you simply decide you’re more committed to the dream than you are to the fear.

I didn’t truly pick up a microphone again to speak until 2023. And now?

I’m actively advocating for myself to be seen as a national speaker.

National.

What?

That sentence still feels ridiculous to say out loud.

But it’s true.

I’ve learned that confidence isn’t believing you’ll never fail.

Confidence is understanding that failure didn’t kill you the first time.

So it won’t kill you the next time either.

TEDx Speaker

This one still doesn’t feel real.

Every time I think about it, I smile.

Then I panic a little.

Then I smile again.

Because TEDx isn’t just a speaking engagement.

It’s something bigger.

There is something about that red dot that represents possibility.

Ideas.

Perspective.

Curiosity.

People gathering together because they genuinely want to think differently.

They want to challenge assumptions.

They want to learn.

They want to grow.

And honestly?

That’s my favorite thing in the world.

I don’t care about standing on a stage for the sake of standing on a stage.

I care about connection.

I care about helping people see themselves differently.

I care about conversations that make people walk away thinking,

“I’ve never looked at it that way before.”

The fact that I’m about to stand on that stage is almost impossible for me to comprehend.

The older I get, the more I realize that the dream was never really the book.

Or the microphone.

Or the stage.

The real dream was becoming someone brave enough to pursue them.

Because there were so many opportunities to quit.

So many moments where life could have convinced me to stay small.

So many setbacks.

So many heartbreaks.

So many seasons where survival felt more important than dreaming.

Yet somehow, through all the blood, sweat, tears, mistakes, failures, grief, healing, and rebuilding, I kept moving.

Sometimes confidently.

Sometimes kicking and screaming.

But moving nonetheless.

And now I get to look around at a life that I intentionally built. Not perfectly. But authentically.

And that feels like success.

So when someone asks me what dreams I have now, I’m finding that it’s a harder question to answer.

Not because I don’t have dreams.

But because so many of them are suddenly within reach.

The author.

The speaker.

The TEDx stage.

They’re no longer dreams. They’re becoming reality. And that leaves me standing in a place I never expected to be.

A place where gratitude and disbelief seem to exist at the same time. A place where I can finally pause long enough to say:

Look at that.

I actually did it.

Or at least, I am doing it.

So I guess it’s time to make some new dreams.

I can & I will

Watch me

xoxox J